Balls on the Golf Course in Las Vegas

So last week I’d just finished the late shift at the blackjack tables and sauntered over to the craps table where low and behold a group of golfers are shooting craps. How’d I know they were golfers – well it was pretty obvious, the golf sweaters, the slacks, the tees in their pockets, their key chains and their caps all gave it away. These folks love to have a good time and I was in good spirit so I decided to join them. I shimmied closer to the main punters and decided to engage in some small talk…

This is how the evening started and it just got better. So one day Arnold Palmer – the legendary golfer – is playing another big tourney. It’s a 260 yard par-3. After a little hesitation, he removes his 3 Iron form his bag and clubs the ball. It flies 25 feet past the pin and spins back to within 2.5 feet of the hole. Surprised by Arnold Palmer’s golfing prowess, a curious onlooker in the crowd passes comment, ‘Mr. Palmer that was stunning. How on earth did you back it up like that sir?’ Arnold Palmer asks the man, ‘Sir, do you happen to own a 3 Iron?’ The golf fan replies, ‘Yes, certainly – I do.’ Arnold Palmer presses on, ‘Well sir, how far do you hit the ball?’ The reply was 150 yards. Palmer replied calmly, ‘What in God’s good name do you need to know how to back it up for?’

Much of the evening went on in a similar fashion, with jokes about Tiger Woods and his infidelities and golfing faux pas (not too many I must admit). By the time the clock struck 3 am, the party was really rocking and the beer and brandy were starting to work their magic. The next joke caught me off guard, presumably because I’d enjoyed a tot or two too many of tequila.  The lead golfer casually spits this joke out – it had me rolling on the floor. ‘So last night we got in at like 3 am. Barely 1 hour later my neighbor in the room across the halls comes to my hotel room and starts pounding on the door. Can you believe it? 4 am and some loon is causing a raucous outside my hotel suite! Luckily I wasn’t asleep I was playing my drums at full volume!’