The Crude Underbelly of Las Vegas

Folks there are plenty of reasons to celebrate. We’ve just enjoyed a spectacular Thanksgiving across America and all is well in the land of the free. Here in Sin City I’m having a whale of a time enjoying the company of punters and visitors from all corners of the globe. It’s a virtual paradise and I’ve just heard the crudest joke. I’m a little embarrassed to share it on 777 but I’ll try to tone it down a notch to keep it PG 13.

The hooker on the Vegas Strip cons the hapless tourist

Again – a word of caution – this gets pretty explicit. So one fine evening this Japanese tourist is enjoying a late night stroll along the Vegas Blvd. He runs into a gorgeous hooker who’s standing on the corner. The hooker looks him up and down and says, ‘Hey man, want some fun?’ He is completely gob-smacked. ‘Sure, how much?’ he eagerly asks. ‘Well for some hand relief it will cost you $600.’ The tourist can’t believe how expensive the price is. ‘Why so much?’ he protests. The hooker motions towards a chain of Burger King restaurants along the strip. ‘Those are all mine from all the fantastic hand relief work I’ve done for my clients’ Deciding that it can’t hurt to try this out – he takes the hooker to his room. He is supremely chuffed with the job that she has done for him.

‘What about something a little more he says – saki saki?’ and he smiles. The hooker pours across the skyline. ‘You see those hotels out there? I own all 5 of them from the fantastic saki saki that I can perform.’ He nervously glances inside his wallet, ‘How much?’ he asks politely. ‘That’ll be $2,000’ the hooker replies. ‘That’s an outrage! But I’ll bet you’re the best.’ He unzips his trousers the hooker gets to work. Soon afterwards, he is resting in 7^th heaven. Finally he decides to throw caution to the wind and asks for the full package. He’s now plundered his holiday money and he’s prepared to squander his kid’s college fund just to enjoy the crème de la crème that this hooker has to offer.  ‘How much for the fanny?’he asks. The hooker looks out across the skyline, ‘You see the city of Las Vegas?’ He looks at her quizzically, ‘You own the city of Las Vegas???’ he asks in shock. ‘No. I would if I had a fanny though!’ the hooker responds.