Top New Year’s Jokes in Las Vegas

If you thought Christmas was a festive day in Las Vegas, wait until you see what New Year is all about. This is arguably the most celebrated time of the global calendar and in Sin City it means everything. Folks were braving the freezing temperatures to usher in 2011 and they did so with aplomb. Champagne was popping, beer was being guzzled and spirits were being consumed in copious amounts. While Las Vegas can get rowdy at times, I was pleasantly impressed by the dignity and decorum with which tourists behaved.  Sure there were a few drunken party freaks here and there, but the temperatures were so cold (between 27’ and below freezing until around 8 am on Saturday) that many folks were indoors in the casinos and hotels having a grand old time.

A couple from Tennessee, Hank and Ami, are taking a siesta on New Year’s Eve before the party begins. They’re staying at a local dive off the Strip. After Ami wakes up she says to Hank, “I had a dream that you bought me a beautiful diamond ring for New Year’s. What do you think it means darling?” Hank folds his soiled cap in his hands and says, “Aw darling, you’ll know what it means tonight.” With that he heads out to his truck and guns the engine. At midnight on New Year, Hank approaches Ami and hands her a small gift-wrapped package. Ami is so thrilled that she tears at it and removes the wrappers. There in her hands rested a beautiful book entitled: “Interpreting your Dreams.”

I have to be honest; I heard that joke off the blackjack table. A couple of pals were chatting in front of the M&M store on the Strip and I just so happened to catch the joke as I was waiting to pay for my Christmas Clock. The next joke is also a little beauty and this time I heard it at the tables in the casino where I work. Enjoy it and remember that New Year is truly the harbinger of a new beginning. If you’re a sports fan, the this little New Year caper will be right up your alley.

Sheila and Jack are always arguing about quality time. Jack spends too much time watching sports and Sheila wants more family time at the table. This New Year, Jack decides to humor his wife. So he forgoes most of the sports match between two rival football teams. He eats a lovely dinner, schmoozes with the guests and engages in small talk. Then he decides to go back to the game. Sheila is so taken by his efforts that she decides to bring him a beer and give him a foot rub. “What’s the score?” she politely asks. Jack looks up, “It’s 0-0, in the second half.” he replies. Sheila smiles inwardly, “See I told you that you wouldn’t miss a thing.”