So the other day I’m walking into the casino – it’s early morning right now – and I see my pit boss eyeing his watch. “Where you been?” he asks. I look at the time and realise that I’m not a minute too late. “It’s all good Jim. I’m set and ready to roll!” Jim eyed me casually – “Good to hear it! But before you get started (and the reason I’m here more likely), could you please share a couple of gags with me?” Then the penny dropped – I wasn’t late – Jim just needed some cannon fodder to shoot the breeze with. So I indulged his jokes desires and these are the things that I had to say.
Let’s delve into the world of do’s and don’ts of poker. So, the next time you’re in a hurry to throw around a couple of poker terms loosely, think twice. You may just end up making a boo-boo. Here’s what I’ve managed to find as number 1 annoyances in poker gaming:
- Don’t be asking your poker dealer what the odds are on games of Strip Poker
- Don’t force your way into a private multiplayer poker tourney
- Don’t be faking a Caribbean island accent when playing Caribbean Poker
The Little Old Lady that Could…
So one day I hear this really sweet joke. It’s about how to get a sweet old lady to drop the F*** Bomb. Well, it’s simple really: get another little old lady to yet out Bingo! That’s sure to bring an impressive range of expletives to the fore.
Dinner time at the Casinos never got so poignant
So here’s a feel good story about a lad who was choking his way through a meal at the MGM Grand. By the way – the food’s great there – this kid simply actually swallowed a gambling token! So the kid’s father starts yelling out – ‘Someone help! My son’s choking!’ Luckily for the son and his dad, another man at the table across from them came to their assistance. ‘Never fear when Fred is near!’ he bragged. Without warning, Fred raced up to the choking boy and grabbed him in his groin. Within seconds the offending slot token was coughed up. The boy’s father was so impressed he pumped Fred’s hands in appreciation. ‘Thank you. Where on earth did you learn that move? Are you a paramedic?’ Fred looked up – ‘No sir. I’m with the IRS. We know how to get money out of people!’
The finale!
This popular joke has certainly made its rounds over the years. So one day this guy is walking along the beach and he hears the words, DIG DIG DIG! So he starts digging. He finds a treasure chest of hundreds of coins. He then hears the words GO TO CASINO. So he follows the seemingly sage advice and rushes to the nearest casino. Then he hears ROULETTE 28 being repeated inside his head 100 times. The man asks ‘How much?’ and the inner voice answers ALL OF IT. So he places a very large bet on 28. The entire table and those surrounding it go silent. Unfortunately for the man it’s number 16 that comes up. The deep voice simply mutters: DAMN!
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